Disclaimer: Again, I don't own the rights to Star Trek or Blackadder or Mr. Bean. This is a work of fan fiction strictly for enjoyment. Jean Akins
Sprite tried as hard as she could to free herself, but the knots of the ropes binding her were too tight. The cloth gagging her mouth prevented her from screaming for help. She stared up at the one responsible for her predicament: Mrs. Miggins. The pie shoppe owner stared back down at Sprite, then laughed maniacally.
Mrs. Miggins: Did you really think I would let anyone come between me and my beloved Mr. Blackadder? He and I are meant to be! It's only a matter of time before he comes to his senses, and then he and I can start making our own family of little Adders! I'm certainly not going to let you or any other woman prevent that!
Sprite wriggled but could not break free. She nervously glanced over at the pair of grungy-looking heavy-set sailors who salivated as they stared at her all bound, gagged and helpless.
Mrs. Miggins: She's all yours, boys! Thanks for your help.
Sprite's thoughts raced through her mind. What was happening? Ensign Harry Kim had assured her that the safety locks were in place for this holodeck program. Why were those two sailors who Mrs. Miggins bribed earlier to snatch Sprite and bring her to this large boat able to do so?
This wasn't the holodeck program Sprite originally wanted to be in. But when Harry told her there would be no charge for her to try this one, she couldn't resist, especially since it featured Blackadder the Third, her beloved hubby (or hubby-to-be, depending on when it takes place). Harry had read one of Jeanster's fanfic stories titled Hornblower Meets Blackadder and decided it would be fun to run a holodeck program of it. And since it would be quite awhile before Sprite could afford to save enough money to buy a holodeck program she really wanted, Harry decided to let her be in this one on a complimentary basis, provided she give him an honest review of it afterward, so he could decide if it merits saving and renting out later to customers.
Well, it's going to be less than a favorable review at this point, thought Sprite.
One of the sailors came over to Sprite and put his face close to hers. She could smell the whiskey on his breath. Ugh, she thought. He grabbed her and picked her up.
Sailor: I may as well introduce myself to you, darlin', since we're going to get to know each other very well. Oh, yes. Very well, indeed. My name is Thadeus. And this here is my sailing mate Jonesy. He'll be getting to you know you very well, too. But not until I'm finished with you.
Sprite struggled even harder, but it in vain. Thadeus snickered at her and carried her down below. He placed her down on what seemed to be a bed. It was more like a stack of blankets. The floor underneath it was hard and uncomfortable. If she could only undo her gag, then she could say, "Computer, freeze program!" Then she could leave the holodeck and find out from Harry what went wrong.
Thadeus smiled down at the helpless, squirming Sprite. He slowly unbuckled his belt and dropped his trousers. Sprite closed her eyes and turned her head away. She heard him walking toward her, and she braced herself for the brutal humiliating attack.
Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound overhead. She could hear shouts but could not make out the words. Heavy footsteps raced down the ladder toward them. Thadeus was pulled back and struck hard by none other than Sprite's beloved Edmund Blackadder the Third. Up above Baldrick was giving Jonesy a good thrashing, then heaved him overboard.
Thadeus lay unconscious on the floor. Edmund rushed over to Sprite and removed the cloth gagging her.
Sprite: Just in time! He was about to --
Edmund: I know, my darling, I know. But let's not speak of it. Let's just get you free and back home with me.
He untied the knots and freed Sprite. Her arms felt strange as the blood circulation had been cut off temporarily from being tied so tightly.
Edmund embraced Sprite and gave her a deep, long, wet kiss. She kissed him back hungrily and put her arms around him, holding him tight, not wanting to let go of him ever. She moved her hands upward and gently ran her fingers through his beautiful, long wavy hair. Oh, she loved his hair. And his face. And his lips. And his eyes. And all the rest of him.
Edmund lifted Sprite and carried her back to the upper deck. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Sprite: How did you know where to find me?
Edmund: I'll explain later, my darling. Right now it's just so good to have you here in my arms. Ah, Baldrick, good work. I see Jonesy is taking his much-needed bath.
Jonesy thrashed about in the water. He tried to climb back aboard, but Baldrick gave him a threatening look, so that stopped him.
Baldrick: Yes, Mr. B. Good evening, dear lady. So glad to see you safe and sound.
Sprite: Thank you, Baldrick. Good to see you, too. You both are a sight for my sore eyes. And the rest of my body would be very sore by now if you hadn't shown up in the nick of time.
The three of them headed back home. Soon Edmund and Sprite were in bed together to celebrate her freedom from her captors.
Meanwhile, in the corridor outside Holodeck 2, we see Ensign Harry Kim and the Jeanster. They look worried as they study the console.
Jeanster: How much damage did that little imp do? Is Sprite going to be okay?
Harry: We won't know until we can stop the program. How in the world did that Mr. Bean character get out of Holodeck 3 and become real? Any holodeck character who steps outside those doors should simply disintegrate into nothingness. Instead he just continued on his way, running through Voyager and fiddling with the ship's controls!
Jeanster: He's changed the ending to my fanfic! We have to do something!
Harry: Wait, I think I have it. Okay, just a few more seconds. Got it! Okay. Computer, end holodeck program Hornblower Meets Blackadder!
The doors to Holodeck 2 opened. Harry and Jeanster stepped inside. They saw Sprite lying on the floor in the middle of the now empty holodeck.
Sprite: NOOOOOO!!!!! Damn it, Harry! You have really lousy timing!
She was on the verge of tears.
Harry and Jeanster gently helped her up and escorted her out of the holodeck.
Tuvok and four security personnel carrying a now subdued and securely bound Mr. Bean walked past them.
Tuvok: The Captain is going to want a full report about this.
Harry: I know. And I don't think she'll like it. Well, let's go face the music.
THE END
The Blackadder Ladies Club Members Meet Prince Edmund
Hornblower Meets Blackadder
Mr. Bean on Voyager (Sequel to Mrs. Miggins' Revenge)